Sexuality, Family Planning and Birth Control

Most pagans celebrate sexuality. It is a natural part of the life cycle and the joy that it brings, pleasure, bonding, children, is a blessing from the powers that be. Sex is not dirty. Sex should not be hidden away like a dirty secret. Many pagans view sex as a form of worship, and there is no doubt it is a very spiritual event filled with wonderful amounts of energy. Some even use sexual energy to work magick. There is also a type of sexual energy work called Tantra that can help bring lovers closer together and help them find an even greater closeness.

Pagans are generally accepting of homosexuality, bisexuality, transexuals, transgenders, etc... There are even some groups that practice polyamoury which is multiple close sexual partners, like boyfriend and girlfriend, but with an extra one or two of either thrown in. By no means does that mean that all pagans are homosexual or bisexual or have multiple partners or that you must do so to be pagan, just that if you happen to be you probably will not be judged on it nearly as much as in main stream circles. Most of us feel that love is love no matter who you feel it for. I personally feel that if you are drawn to love someone of your own gender, or multiple people, or whatever happens in your particular case there is a reason for it, so who am I to say that it is wrong for you?

The human body is a wonderful thing. Take some time just to contemplate your body. Think of all the things that it can do, all the sensations it can have. Our bodies are miraculous creations. No part of our bodies is dirty, unnatural or "bad." It is so sad that many children learn that their bodies are "yucky," "bad," or "no-no's." Be aware of how you talk to young children about their bodies and about yours. For instance, your body image can easily rub off on your children. If you are uncomfortable with your body how can you expect your children to be comfortable with theirs? They understand and fit into their worldview much more than you might expect.

Even as we celebrate our bodies and our sexuality we need to keep in mind our plans for the future. If we are not emotionally, spiritually, or financially ready to have children yet we should take great care to prevent conception. In today's society it is much easier to have children in a family with two working adults. We might not like it, but it's true. However being a mother and housewife is not anything to be laughed at by any means. It is a twenty-four plus hour a day job for lousy pay but has some very wonderful benefits: happy, healthy, well adjusted (we hope) children. Think about your plans for schooling and family very carefully before you decide to have children. Having children should be a choice, not an accident! Children are never accidents. They are gifts, perhaps sometimes unexpected, stressful ones, but gifts none-the-less and should be viewed as such.

The only sure way to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases is abstinence, pure and simple. All other forms have a failure rate, even vasectomies and tied tubes. I personally know great kid who got through both the pill and a vasectomy to get to this world. The pill is not perfect and can be forgotten. Condoms are very effective against both pregnancy and disease is used CORRECTLY! Read the package people! Adding foam to proper condom use increases the protection.

If you are not mature enough to go into a store and buy condoms then you are most definitely not ready to have sex. If you think sex is "cool" or are using it to get someone to like you or stay with you, then you are not ready to have sex. You can get pregnant the first time. You can get a disease the first time. You are sleeping with every person your partner has ever slept with in that respect. If he or she really loves you they can and will wait till you are ready. If they don't having sex with them will not fix it. There are much deeper problems in that relationship.

There is a reason states have laws about the age of sexual consent. It is very easy when we are young to let your hormones and emotions sweep us away. If you are younger than the age of sexual consent in your state, please think very closely about why you want to do this and what the ramifications are. Your lover can be jailed on statutory rape charges if your parents deem it necessary. Are you and your partner willing to risk a mark on their permanent record for sex? If you are you really need to consider why because sex, something you will have the rest of your life to experience, is not a reason to risk jail time. The patience you learn while you wait till you come of age and the time that you give the relationship will do both of you a lot more good than an act that can land one of you in jail. If he or she really loves you they can and will wait till you are ready.

You do not have to have sexual intercourse to be intimate or close with a person you love. Remember no one else can tell you when you are ready for this step. No matter how ready you think you are it will bring changes into your life both in the way you feel about yourself and the way that others view you. Do your best to make sure it is the right decision for you, not for your partner, your friends, or anyone else. And most importantly make your first time a beautiful and romantic experience.